[ ...but. She owes it to Fauna to be honest. If she was going to be in a relationship with this woman, she had to put everything on the table, no matter how much it hurt.
She owed it to both of them to untangle all of this. ]
Mm... [ She closes her eyes. ]
When I started as a magi... I didn't think I would last long. I felt so out of place, like I didn't belong there, and all I would do is keep screwing up. I was actually captured the first time I faced a much larger Nightmare, you know. I had no reason to keep myself safe, and no actual reason to feel like I had to learn.
Then, I met Aisaka-san. I'll be honest... I didn't like her at first. I thought she came across as a rude, ungrateful child who had gotten in over her head. Cursing at me, pretending I didn't exist, not showing any appreciation... but, I could tell immediately that she was just as terrified as I was.
[ It had been a long time, hadn't it? Since they first battled a Nightmare. Ryoko slowing down one of the familiars to leave Taiga to deal with it herself, Taiga smashing it to bits, swiveling around and calling her a bitch. Walking away without showing any gratitude, even forgetting her name-- and finally as Ryoko decided to give up.
Thanks for helping, Ryoko. ]
The next month, there was a giant flood. Aisaka-san was planning to stay in her home, but I insisted on bringing her where everyone else was. I knew I was being too pushy towards someone that I barely knew, but I felt it would be better for us to know she was safe. When the flood got too bad and we all wound up outside... I had to save her. [ A brief laugh. ] It's the first time she got mad at me for putting someone else's life before mine.
I could go on and on, but... I looked at her as someone I needed to protect after that. Aisaka-san finally gave me a purpose as a magi, and became someone I could talk to when I hurt, someone I could rely on if I needed to clean my gem... someone I could enjoy a normal life with, until it came time for us to pretend to be magical girls.
[ Ah. Waterworks again. ]
I hurt her a lot by being stupid, and we'd talk it out and cry together. I'd keep her safe, and worry her by trying to keep a group of people who couldn't stand each other together. When the worst days came, she tried her hardest to pull me together, to remind me to take care of myself. Then... we fought a powerful witch. All of our strongest were out for a moment, and I thought I had to step up. I got... really badly hurt, and would have died then and there had Aisaka-san not knocked me out of the way. Even then, my wounds were too deep, and I was done for anyway.
[ "You've done enough. You don't... you don't need to do more." ]
But... I'd seen enough of my friends die that day. I didn't think I had done enough... and selfishly, I had her help me help everyone. In exchange, she found someone to heal me and... she protected me until it was over. When I think about it... Aisaka-san saved my life twice. She's such a kind girl, someone who doesn't deserve anything that Nyoi-cho put her through. Someone who doesn't deserve anything I've put her through. She tries her hardest to keep herself together, but always supports me when I need it. She's someone I can relax around, I can poke fun of from time to time, and I know that no matter what... even if we get mad at each other, even if one of us hurts the other, we'll still make up in the end.
no subject
She owed it to both of them to untangle all of this. ]
Mm... [ She closes her eyes. ]
When I started as a magi... I didn't think I would last long. I felt so out of place, like I didn't belong there, and all I would do is keep screwing up. I was actually captured the first time I faced a much larger Nightmare, you know. I had no reason to keep myself safe, and no actual reason to feel like I had to learn.
Then, I met Aisaka-san. I'll be honest... I didn't like her at first. I thought she came across as a rude, ungrateful child who had gotten in over her head. Cursing at me, pretending I didn't exist, not showing any appreciation... but, I could tell immediately that she was just as terrified as I was.
[ It had been a long time, hadn't it? Since they first battled a Nightmare. Ryoko slowing down one of the familiars to leave Taiga to deal with it herself, Taiga smashing it to bits, swiveling around and calling her a bitch. Walking away without showing any gratitude, even forgetting her name-- and finally as Ryoko decided to give up.
Thanks for helping, Ryoko. ]
The next month, there was a giant flood. Aisaka-san was planning to stay in her home, but I insisted on bringing her where everyone else was. I knew I was being too pushy towards someone that I barely knew, but I felt it would be better for us to know she was safe. When the flood got too bad and we all wound up outside... I had to save her. [ A brief laugh. ] It's the first time she got mad at me for putting someone else's life before mine.
I could go on and on, but... I looked at her as someone I needed to protect after that. Aisaka-san finally gave me a purpose as a magi, and became someone I could talk to when I hurt, someone I could rely on if I needed to clean my gem... someone I could enjoy a normal life with, until it came time for us to pretend to be magical girls.
[ Ah. Waterworks again. ]
I hurt her a lot by being stupid, and we'd talk it out and cry together. I'd keep her safe, and worry her by trying to keep a group of people who couldn't stand each other together. When the worst days came, she tried her hardest to pull me together, to remind me to take care of myself. Then... we fought a powerful witch. All of our strongest were out for a moment, and I thought I had to step up. I got... really badly hurt, and would have died then and there had Aisaka-san not knocked me out of the way. Even then, my wounds were too deep, and I was done for anyway.
[ "You've done enough. You don't... you don't need to do more." ]
But... I'd seen enough of my friends die that day. I didn't think I had done enough... and selfishly, I had her help me help everyone. In exchange, she found someone to heal me and... she protected me until it was over. When I think about it... Aisaka-san saved my life twice. She's such a kind girl, someone who doesn't deserve anything that Nyoi-cho put her through. Someone who doesn't deserve anything I've put her through. She tries her hardest to keep herself together, but always supports me when I need it. She's someone I can relax around, I can poke fun of from time to time, and I know that no matter what... even if we get mad at each other, even if one of us hurts the other, we'll still make up in the end.